El Numero Uno
WHO IS EL NUMERO UNO?
It's me.
I am the alpha and the oh, mega.
That's me.
I am El Numero Uno for the following reasons:
1. I am kind to old people.
2. One time, I found this small dog in an Albertson's parking lot, and I found a home for her.
3. I am teaching myself how to play piano AND harmonica.
4. I can knit a scarf in less than one week.
5. I am unhindered by any undue attachment to worldly possessions.
6. I have an awesome rack.
7. I am the killer of 7 scorpions in the last year.
8. I have two unfinished novels, and am bound to finish one. Or maybe I'll start another one.
9. I seem to have attracted you there, reading this. This, I feel, reflects well on me.
10. This last one is a secret.
Do not dispute me, sexy readers.
Or if you must, try at the same time to retain an open mind.
I shall win you over.
You and the horse you rode in on.
Because I love you.
It's me.
I am the alpha and the oh, mega.
That's me.
I am El Numero Uno for the following reasons:
1. I am kind to old people.
2. One time, I found this small dog in an Albertson's parking lot, and I found a home for her.
3. I am teaching myself how to play piano AND harmonica.
4. I can knit a scarf in less than one week.
5. I am unhindered by any undue attachment to worldly possessions.
6. I have an awesome rack.
7. I am the killer of 7 scorpions in the last year.
8. I have two unfinished novels, and am bound to finish one. Or maybe I'll start another one.
9. I seem to have attracted you there, reading this. This, I feel, reflects well on me.
10. This last one is a secret.
Do not dispute me, sexy readers.
Or if you must, try at the same time to retain an open mind.
I shall win you over.
You and the horse you rode in on.
Because I love you.
posted by sarahfisch at
1:33 AM
2 Comments:
that's beautiful
Hi Sarah, Funk here. This piece fucking rocks. I have always been such a big fan of you and your writing. But this one is fantastic.
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