Wednesday, February 02, 2005

The Joke About the Chihuahua

A few years ago, somebody told me the following joke:

So these two men walk their dogs together every day. Javier Villareal-Villalobos walks his labrador, Zapata, and Herman "Bitsy" Skulwinski walks his chihuahua, Dr. Herring. And one summer day it's hella hot. Crazy, horribly hot. Beaming! Very hard work to go for a walk in such miserable heat. But walk they do. Until they pass by a bar called Nocturne, at which point Javier stops.

"Herman," Javier says. "Let's go into the Nocturne and have a daiquiri."
Herman sighs. "Well, we can't take the dogs into a bar. And I'd feel terribly guilty leaving them outside."
"Watch this!" Javier says.

And Javier puts on some sunglasses, walks Zapata inside and right up to the bar.
The bartender frowns at him. "Listen, Mary," he says. "we can't have that dog here in the Nocturne. Vamoose!"

Javier squares his shoulders. "This is a seeing-eye dog, actually."
"Oh no!" the bartender yelps. "I am so sorry! How insensitive of me! Here, let me get you a cocktail. On the house, of course." And with that, the bartender fires up the blender and presents Javier with a delicious beverage.

Herman watches from outside. Herman is impressed. Herman puts on his shades and walks tiny li'l Dr. Herring into the bar. "Barkeep!" he cries.

"Oh, no," the bartender groans. "Listen, I will NOT have that dog up in here."
"I will have you know, this is a specially-trained, highly skilled and absolutely necessary helper seeing-eye dog upon whom I depend for my very safety."
"Suuuuuuuuure," the bartender drawls. "and they gave you a chihuahua?"
Herman gasps theatrically and draws a fluttering hand to his chest. He shrieks, "They...they...they gave me a CHIHUAHUA??!!"

I enjoyed this joke, and I told it to my sister. She enjoyed it also.

Several weeks later, she complained to me that she'd tried telling the joke several times, but nobody got it. And that what kind of sister was I to tell her crummy jokes for her to pass on to her friends and look like an ass. So I asked her to tell me the joke just exactly how she was telling other people. So she did. She went into great detail about the heat, the dogs, the men, the bar, the bartender, etc. Then, when she got to the punchline, she screamed, "I HAVE A DOG!?!?!?!"

I really think it's a better punchline. More challenging somehow. More Zen.


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