State of the Minion

I know I haven't updated this in a while--I got something big brewing about jury duty. As in, I am writing something about jury duty, to post here. It's long-ish. I hope this will be better than it sounds.

So, in the meantime, I'm watching the State of the Union Address, thought I'd vent about that. Apparently I am not updating my blog often enough for a Miss Margaret Dodge.

So, Margaret, I'm pissed right now. Got home from yoga class, and I was feeling all relaxed and peaceful and shit, and I flick on the teevee and THERE HE IS. The flightsuit monkey. The political bugaboo of the last THIRTEEN YEARS OF MY LIFE. Perhaps if I move to Greenland he will follow me there and take it over, and I can leave him there. Overenunciating. Shifty-eyed. Smirkadocious. "Freedom" this and "freedom" that. It's a good thing I'm all yoga-ed out right now, or my head would blast right off my body with a shower of sparks and a FFFFFFTT sound.

I do not like you, sir. And Cheney! I see you there behind the dimwit, you bastard. I don't like you either. And you, third guy. I...don't know who you are. So we'll leave you out of it for now.

Dude, speaking of tension, Laura's had some face-work done--the woman's looking tight, and not the way they say it on The Wire. She's a cipher to me. She really does have an apparently deserved rep, back in TX, of being an intelligent, kind-hearted, reader-of-serious-fiction type lady. I mean, is she living in daily agony, then? How could she not be? But look at her grinning. Did somebody do something bad to her mind? It's like there's something decent there, but it was surgically removed. What goes on in her head, for real? Somebody please comment on this.

Woohoo! Some Democrats are actually groaning audibly as the Pres. talks about Social Security "reform." Take that, Mr. President! The democrats are GROANING. Ain't you escared? They'll GROAN til they can't GROAN NO MORE, and THEN you'll be sorry.

Oh great flaming Christ's ass, he said it. He's gonna protect marriage and promote a culture of life. Okay, I just actually, physically, literally screamed. I did. I screamed.

He just mentioned Pflugerville, Texas; I used to think Ann Enzminger was from there, but she isn't. She's from Austin. So don't y'all go around calling her "Pflugey" or any such thing. Not only will she not know what you're talking about, you'll be wrong.

He really does say "nucular," and every goddamned time he says it, it re-surprises me.

Aw shit, I keep missing who the guests stars are, he's now called 2 separate cute plus-sized ladies out while I've been typing. One was Middle-eastern and young, making a victory sign. The other one was older and resembled a honey bear with orange hair, and cried. What were they about?

I can't wait to read how many times this man used the word "freedom" and its variants. I swear to God that at one point he said something like "the attacks on freedom has strengthened our resolve that freedom is the answer to the fight for freedom."

Yeah!! That's...meaningless.
What about MY liberty of human freedom liberty freedom freedoms, Sir?
You hate them, don't you?
DON'T HATE ME FOR MY FREEDOM!

Now I'm gonna change over to VH1 and see if there's anybody I know on television.
Amen.