Saturday, February 12, 2005

Yipe, Toe Socks

Y'all, look at these toe socks I spotted on eBay:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=11526&item=5361564057&rd=1

Aaaagh! For some reason, It makes me feel just terrible to look at these toe socks. These raw silk toe socks fill me with dread.
I couldn't tell you why. But let me try.

The toe socks violate some boundary--it's perverse to see all the toes individually delineated. Who would wear these toe socks? I can't even fathom it. They don't show the rest of the person in the terrifying photos, but if they did, I bet he'd also be wearing a mankilt and a sequinned beanie. Maybe he plays the dreaded didgeridoo! And what if he tried to walk up and touch you with his horrible gloved toes?

These toe socked feet want me to do something and I don't want to do it, whatever it is. In my opinion the scariest picture is on the bottom right, with two toe-socked pairs of feet like some members of an obscure but dangerous tribe.

7 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think they look quite comfortable, actually. And less offensive than those stripey-colored toe socks. Those things freak me way out. But I agree with you on the issue of that one picture...they're freaking glowing, ferchrissakes!

luckydave

10:28 AM  
Blogger LORMO said...

I'm with you Sarah! Those socks are creepy motherfuckers! I am haunted by that photograph.

12:32 PM  
Blogger Jeff Mac said...

Oh, no, no, no. Those things make me feel all funny inside. I don't care for them at all.

They look like muppet feet or something. And you almost never SEE muppet feet, so it's already a little too intimate for me.

I feel like the only time you'd see a muppet's feet would be when you were identifying him/her in the morgue. And there would be a tag around one of those toe-sock toes. Yick.

9:35 PM  
Blogger AFM said...

I have a muppet tape with Madeline Kahn singing about how she can't forget someones feet to these big fuzzy purple dudes who are showing off their muppet feet big time.

I luuuuv muppet feet. HATE TOE SOCKS!

They are NOT alike.

4:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

dude! i totally thought of you when i was in costa rica . .. the pan flute guys from union square? their less-talented brothers were in costa rica. all 800 of them. your head would have actually disconnected from your body. (i was also looking for sharks for you, but alas, there were none. actualy, i'm kinda relieved about that, because i would have seen them while i was SWIMMING.)

oh, and boo toe socks. like wearing 4 tiny little pairs of flip flops. the chafing is unbelivable.
love
nubree

7:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I happen to be wearing toe socks of the stripey-colored variety at this very moment. No shit. Aside from the slightly-worn spots on the underside of both big-toe toes, I find them marvelous. It's like each little piggy is getting a sock-hug.

They're different-shades-of-blue stripey, in case anyone is wondering.

-crr

2:02 PM  
Blogger LORMO said...

I'm still haunted by those creepy motherfuckers.

8:25 PM  

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