Monday, March 14, 2005

At the Doctor's Office

There were some senior citizens in the waiting room of my doctor's office this morning.


Edited to add: OK, so, I saved the above sentence back in early March.I noticed it again today, and read it, and thought, one sentence? Why on earth did I save this sentence as a draft?

I mean, what did I have to say about these senior citizens?
I feel bad just leaving it at "there were some." It's true that there were a shitload in the office that day, as I remember. And by "shitload," I mean four. The official mount of old people that it takes to constitude a shitload, Barbara: Four.

So the shitload in this case: a ninety-something Jamaican lady in a wheelchair, the wheelchair lady's sixty-fivish-year-old nurse, the wheelchair lady's seventyish daughter, and a seventysomething Jewish dude who was trying hard to get with the wheelchair lady's daughter. He was persistent as hell, kept chatting her up way past the point where I was trying to ESP him thusly: stop, dude, just stop. Please stop before the inevitable point where she has to get hostile, 'cause man, that point is gonna be sad. And surely it's coming, because I'm already past it.

**But!**

He not only did he not alienate his chosen lady, he got her to sing a chorus of "When You're Smiling" with him. Holy shit, success---for old people, that's like making out in front of a bar!

See, this is why I don't score more elderly black chicks.

Elderly black chicks whose moms keep rapping on the armrests of their wheelchairs and saying "I WANT TO GO HOME" thereby incurring being placated with those Danish butter cookies.

I'm just not persistent enough.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

i like you.

--ms. velour

5:40 PM  
Blogger Lori Mocha said...

Olden people are funny.

7:23 AM  
Blogger Lori Mocha said...

Oh and I like butter.

7:24 AM  

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