I Have Been So Damn Busy
Please pardon my lack of posting these last three weeks...I was going great guns there for a while, too. It's just that I've been SO BUSY since the baby was born. Whew! I mean, I've never seen the baby--he lives in San Antonio with my sister, who is his mom. But newborns are so exhausting! All staying up all night screaming and whatnot, with their creepy little soft heads. Imagining this makes it hard to write.
Another reason is that I have been proccupied with my beauty routines.
I do this scam where I go to Kiehl's and buy like a $7 bar of soap and then ask for sample sizes of more expensive Kiehl's products, plus everything I know the actual name of, plus "something to detangle hair." Trying out all this stuff is a not inconsiderable challenge! Speaking of which, the Abyssine Eye Creme is EXCELLENT. It's made me realize that what I really need is an eye job. I RENOUNCE MY ANTI-COSMETIC SURGERY THING! I WANT AN EYE JOB!! And a bigger penis.
Lent, also, has distracted me. I have been fasting and atoning for my sins, except when I go out. I haven't been going out all that much, though. Some people go out all the time, and never atone or write.
They are called artstars.
KIDDING!!
Reality shows starring English nannies have also diverted my attention from my blog, which is weird. What's with me? I'm not a nanny. Nor do I have children. Who am I identifying with in these nanny shows? I think it must be the children. I must harbor a secret desire for a strict but benevolent British woman to arrive seemingly out of nowhere, get down to my level, look me in the eye, and tell me to USE MY WUUUUHDS.
By the way, Barbara (that's what I call you, my readers, collectively: "Barbara.") are those English nanny shows broadcast in the UK too? Like the same exact shows? And if they are, I bet they just call it "Americans Are 'Orrible."
Another reason is that I have been proccupied with my beauty routines.
I do this scam where I go to Kiehl's and buy like a $7 bar of soap and then ask for sample sizes of more expensive Kiehl's products, plus everything I know the actual name of, plus "something to detangle hair." Trying out all this stuff is a not inconsiderable challenge! Speaking of which, the Abyssine Eye Creme is EXCELLENT. It's made me realize that what I really need is an eye job. I RENOUNCE MY ANTI-COSMETIC SURGERY THING! I WANT AN EYE JOB!! And a bigger penis.
Lent, also, has distracted me. I have been fasting and atoning for my sins, except when I go out. I haven't been going out all that much, though. Some people go out all the time, and never atone or write.
They are called artstars.
KIDDING!!
Reality shows starring English nannies have also diverted my attention from my blog, which is weird. What's with me? I'm not a nanny. Nor do I have children. Who am I identifying with in these nanny shows? I think it must be the children. I must harbor a secret desire for a strict but benevolent British woman to arrive seemingly out of nowhere, get down to my level, look me in the eye, and tell me to USE MY WUUUUHDS.
By the way, Barbara (that's what I call you, my readers, collectively: "Barbara.") are those English nanny shows broadcast in the UK too? Like the same exact shows? And if they are, I bet they just call it "Americans Are 'Orrible."
posted by sarahfisch at
4:58 PM
6 Comments:
Naw, in Britain they have their own version of those shows. Parents of well-behaved but repressed British children hire an American who teaches them to take a shit on everything they touch. It's called, "Ah, go fuck yourself, your highness!"
I totally just watched that show! Funny Sarah!
and hahahahaaaaaa...jeff mac, funny even in comments.
Barbara chooses to know nothing about British television.
thank jesus christ almighty, she's back!
--chartreuse velour
Hooray! I've been waiting for you to update fo-eva.
I think more Brits should remake American tv shows though...like The Golden Girls, wouldn't that be awesome w/ a buncha hilarious old British ladies?
All I'd like to say is that Sarah Fisch is one awesome person!
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home