The Tiniest Goddamned Snowman
I have to hand in an outline to my editor by May 16 for my forthcoming Clifford the Big Red Dog spin-off opus, Clifford's Puppy Days: The Littlest Snowman. The outline is basically a story idea and art suggestions. Now, what I gotta figure out is, why on earth does there need to be a "littlest" snowman?
Last time, for Clifford's Puppy Days: Backpack Puppy I was told "Clifford stows away in Emily Elizabeth's backpack on her first day in school." But for this one, everything's up to me! I'd like to take this time to let y'all know that I have never in my life built a snowman. I only threw my very first snowball in February of '01, and that was outside a bar.
Any feedback on the ideas below would be appreciated. Not just smartass feedback, neeva--knock yourself out, though--but real kid-book feedback. You moms & dads out there, or if there are any preschoolers in the crowd--why a tiny snowman? Wherefore diminuitive snowman? WHY?
IDEAS
1. Everybody's expecting the first snowfall of the season to be a blizzard, but the accumulated precipitation turns out to be minimal. Clifford is bummed, because he was looking forward to building a big-ass snowman. But instead, they build a tiny-ass snowman with the tiny-ass amount of snow they got, and make the best of it.
2. Little Sidarsky (the Sidarskys are mice who live in the laundry room of C's bldg) is afraid of large snowmen (?), so C and cronies build a little one his size. And he, um, likes it, and hence, snowmen are okay.
3. C, little S, Flo and Zo (these kittens who are C's friends), Daffodil (a rabbit) feel underrepresented by the big honking human-sized snowmen they are subjected to all over the playground and demand that the City build them some smaller animal-sized ones, or something like that. Or that somebody does, maybe not the City. Maybe Emily Elizabeth. Maybe Clifford. Maybe they all build it. Or maybe they each build one. Oh my God.
4. Or maybe there's a snowman contest, and Clifford builds a tiny snowman and feels kinda self conscious about it but then unexpectedly wins a prize. Except Clifford isn't really much of a builder. So Emily-Elizabeth wins it, maybe, but then Clifford destroys the tiny snowman in a fit of jealous rage.
5. Okay, this one is definitely the worst one. It's mid-July, and one of Emily-Elizabeth's little friends is dying of leukemia. But he really wants to see a tiny snowman. But so...Clifford and his friend the rabbit get some ice cubes...you can see where I'm going with this. NOWHERE.
And no, I'm guessing Scholastic does not want a 24-page picture book PBS-tie-in for the preschool market about a midget cocaine dealer.
Anybody got any other ideas?
(Photo is of Conselyea Street, Wmsburg, in March, taken w/ beloved phone camera--note snow, note complete lack of snowmen made by me, and how this seemed not to bother me then.)
posted by sarahfisch at
6:41 PM
8 Comments:
Uh...I've got what might be a really dumb question. Why does it even have to BE called "The Littlest Snowman"? Why would they give you such a specific title, but with NO idea of why they want it called that?
My editor gives the higher ups a list of potential titles, and they choose amongst them, and they're farmed out fromt here. And this is the one they chose. The "why" is my problem. I coulda said no but I didn't, I accepted the li'lest sno-man mission, so now what?
Maybe Clifford gets left out in the snow, and he finds a snowman that is in the process of melting. It's getting smaller and smaller. He befriends the snowman and vows to help save him, or at least to stay to watch him die. (Ok, maybe not.)
Or, maybe Clifford and his little friends decide to have a snowman building contest. Among all of the entries he finds a little one and no one knows who made it. They have an adventure trying to find out who built it.
You may have something there, with the contest...the whodunit angle. What I NEED, see, is a HOOK. I just got to think about the littlest snowman til a HOOK comes to me. A contest may be it, it just might.
With the Backpack Puppy one, the hook that struck me was "Old McDonald." The children in the classroom sing it, and Clifford, hiding in Emily Elizabeth's titular backpack as a stowaway, cannot resist the impulse to join in on the here-a-WOOF-there-a-WOOF everywhere-a-WOOF WOOF part (resisting til the last WOOF WOOF, I might add, for extra preschool-Hitchcockian tension), hence giving himself away... and there I had a climax.
How do you construct a climax over a fucking tiny snowman? Where's the HOOK, Jeff?
That's what I have to figure out.
Ok, here's your hook: There's the contest, and Clifford makes the tiny snowman. He puts all his heart and soul into it, but it's so much littler than any of the other ones. He's embarrassed.
Then, someone comes around to judge, and sees the little snowman. Clifford pretends it wasn't his. He hides. He doesn't want anyone to know. Soon enough EVERYBODY is looking for whoever built the little snowman. Clifford is sure it's because they want to make fun of him.
Finally, he is discovered. And he holds his little head up and admits that yeah, it was him. And it turns out that all along the guy was looking for him to give him first prize.
Oooh, that's good! I think contest is the way to go, especially seeing as how it's the LITTLEST snowman, not just "a (presumably lone) small snowman" or even "the smaller snowman," which would indicate only two. Clearly there must be at least three snowmen. And Clifford learning that smallness isn't a bad thing is gonna appeal to four-year-olds. Maybe set up a sibling-ish dynamic where his friends are telling him he's too little to build a snowman, but his winning the contest proves them wrong.
Perhaps BOSKO! should guest-star, as the judge.
24 pages of child empowerment and zomby antics!
The contest idea has Lilly approval!
brilliant but only if you actually include bosko - otherwise just very good...
You smart writer with that hook stuff!
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