Seasonal Affective Dumbassery: A How-To

Take a leisurely stroll in a nearby park on a gorgeous, sunny spring afternoon. Revel in your jacketlessness. Feel the sunshine on your happy face. Observe the picnicking families, the old Polish guys sunning themselves on their benches, the bustling handball courts, the shouting children at their soccer game.

Ahh, spring.

Next, rapidly conclude, based on some wildly inaccurate data provided you by your peripheral vision, that a softball is rocketing towards your head. Duck reflexively and cover your head with your arms. Just as quickly, correctly determine that the threat was imagined, and straighten back up and continue walking as though nothing had happened. Accept that you now look like a crazy person. But whatever, you know, that's cool.