Don't Look at These Hideous Freaks

Listen, my babies, my comrades, my Bleu State Pervo Godless Commie Ahtist Pornographer friends, the only reason I'm posting these grisly photos is to placate the special interests.
But still, don't...don't look. DON'T. Go peruse schlongmonster.com or assbiters.org. Go have sex with a man. Especially if you ARE a man.
I BEG OF YOU.
Okay, SO. You know my policy with photos of the shameful variety, Barbara: make 'em small.

RUTHLESS BITCHES

This is an FBI surveillance photo of Carol Fisch, a.k.a. "Screaming Mimi," her daughter Annie "Pedal to the Metal" Hamlin, and Annie's daughter Lilly, known in Montessori circles as "the Nakes."

All three are serial killers.


DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS

Cute, aren't they? But what you can't see is that just out of frame, a small, frail, elderly woman is imprisoned in a wire mesh cage. She is Lucretia "the Taxidermist" MacFahrquahr, Carol's old nemesis from back in the St. Louis days. It took nearly forty years, but Carol finally got 'er. Lilly is poking The Taxidermist with a stick.


SHOCKING ALTERNATIVE LIFESTYLES

The taller fellow pictured here is Matt "Chopper" Hamlin, my brother-in-law and owner of San Antonio, Texas bicycle shop/ acoustic biker crime den Bicycle Heaven. The guy menacing the photographer is Wil "The Baby" Hamlin. Wil enjoys breastfeeding, clean diapers, and getting lots of sleep. Wil is forty-seven years old.


JUST PLAIN GROSS

Wil again. His grandfather, John "Poppy the Napper" Fisch, is also pictured. That is his thumb. The rest of him is preoccupied with plotting more murders and is too dangerous to photograph.

If you see any of these people, watch the fuck out.

Photo Credit: Ruthie "G-Person" Goldsmith, cleverly disguised as a mariachi. Damned fine work, G.