Indignant Mom's Korner
The lady in the red dress in front of the Satan diorama is my mother. I took this photo because it looks like Mom's recruiting future Satanists, but she's not, she's a docent at the Marion Koogler McNay Art Museum in San Antonio, Texas. She's giving a kid's tour, here. She's pretty much anti-Satan, for the record. She's more of a Robert Rauschenberg fan. Did y'all know Rauschenberg's from Texas? Port Arthur. Same place as Janis Joplin.
But I digress. So, so much.
Anyhow, my mom's been sick with a cold since Friday. She's not a good patient. The woman likes to keep busy. The title of the following e-mail is "sir crazy" and I thought I'd share it with y'all.
Yup, an email from my mom.
Grossed out yet?
Does it help if I mention my mom cusses in this e-mail?
Read on.
Okay...so I'm feeling lousy and sorry for myself and decide to hook up my
new phones. But I couldn't get one of them to work, so I call the Panansonic help line and get a helper who couldn't understand me. So she gets her supervisor whom I couldn't understand. (India calling?)
She keeps saying, "Get to your base and press your bottom and it will
register."
I say, "I don't think I understand you. Would you repeat that?"
"Please press your bottom."
"I don't think I know what that means. Press my bottom?"
"Yes. You should be all better now. Have a nice day."
Click. SHE HUNG UP ON ME.
Can customer service do that? What about monitored calls and all that shit?
In retrospect, I suspect she was offended by my misunderstanding of "button."
I've been busy all day pressing my bottom. Still no dial.
What do you think?
I don't know what to think, frankly. I'm as flummoxed as Mom is.
What do you think, Barbara?
posted by sarahfisch at
8:42 PM
7 Comments:
I don't know pressing my own bottom is the only way Iget adial tone these days.Yourmum soundscute (even with the swearing.)What I thought was clever was that she couldn't get a dial tone so she Rang them about it!! Sorry about the too many spaces..thecomputerpeople have replaced my keyboard because my mousewasn't working and now it works butthe space baris lazy..:-0
Oh, Sarah Fisch, this amuses me greatly. I now see where you get your quirky yet profane sense of humor.
Has your mom ever visited you out here? I know I met your dad that one time, but not so much your mom.
I want a girls night out with your mom, damn it.
I find your Mom's horror at the prospect of feeling herself up at the request of an Indian Customer Service Supervisor to be truly offensive. And racist. Just push that bottom, lady. And get a webcam.
My favorite part of this post is the part where your mom is "pretty much anti-Satan." Like, she's not going to go out and protest or anything, but she's definitely not going to write him a recommendation.
If your mom loved satan more i bet her phone would work .. satan and ma bell are - you know - in it togethor as the kids say
I *think* the gargantuan young boy on the right is standing on some stairs. I don't remember there having been a nine-year-old pituitary case there, but maybe he escaped my notice.
Oh, and by the way, my mom read this and wants me to add that the supervisor informed her than if she pressed her "bottom," her bottom would then "start flashing."
Frankly, it wouldn't be the first time.
my bottom gets bad reception sometimes. maybe she should keep it near a window?
pretty much anti-satan. like if satan cleaned up his act a little, she's re-think her opinion.
i love texas moms.
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