FEMA? I hardly knew her!
(Psst...Say that jokey post title aloud with a Louisiana accent and... it still sucks! Shoot, y'all, sorry. Let's move on.)
First off, FEMA, in case you're not so well-versed in government bodies (rowr!), is the Federal Emergency Management Agency. FEMA is charged to protect us in case of hurricanes, volcanoes, tornadoes, witches (I think?), and, apparently, uppity poor people. FEMA partially constitutes the The Government, which, in case you're in need of further elucidation, is dictated by the Constitution. My favorite bit of the Constitution? The Preamble! It's right there at the beginning of the document, it's short, and you can dance to it. Sing it for the Durty South, y'all, like they used to do on Jimmy-Carter-era Saturday morning television:
We the People
in Order to form a more Perfect Union,
establish Justice,
insure domestic Tranquilityy-yy-yy,
proviiide for the Common Defence,
promote the general Welfare, and
secure the Blessings of Lib-er-tyyy
to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain!
and establish!
this Constitution!
for the:
United States o-o-of
A-
me-ri
caaaa.
As of blog time (nearly five a.m. on Wednesday morning, 9/7/05, with CNN on), Justice remains flamboyantly un-Established in South Louisiana. Domestic Tranquility in the Southern Parishes is Very Fucking Much Not. The Common Defence seems to have been ignored in the Ninth Ward, and as for the Promotion of Louisianians' General Welfare...it's so funny, I forgot to laugh.
But here, lemme try a giggle, with a KRUNK NOLA-STYLE FEMA BIT.
Oh, FEMA, you triflin' bitch. Where were you last week? Don't tell me you thought that the Weather-Related Mass Drowning, Starvation, and Chaos Administration had a handle on it. Because that's supposed to be you, lazy-ass. Don't you try to implicate Santa! Don't front, son! Santa don't make it rain. Hurricane evacuation ain't Batman's job, neither, it's YOURS. What's that you say, FEMA? What-whaaaat? Budget cuts?? WHO CUT YOU? Was it ReeRee? Did ReeRee and LaKwan cut you, baby??
...No? They drowned, you say? Damn. Well, who cut your funding then? WHO WAS IT?
Anyhow.
I realize my interpretation of the duties of our government strikes some as quixotic. Those in and out of the current Presidential Administration favoring a strict interpretation of the Constitution may argue that nowhere do the Framers propose massive hurricane-refugee airlifting. And they would have a point, as would those favoring the smallest taxes and smallest federal government in protesting that they don't control the weather.
Clearly, I just need to accept that some things went wrong, but some things went right (!), and trust that the president is gonna investigate. Yay! A sleuthin' POTUS!Who needs regulatory agencies or independent nonpartisan investigations when we have the fuckin' Hardy Boys!?
And while some among us may point out that the 18,000 yearly US deaths resulting from a lack of affordable healthcare seems also kinda...well, crisis-ish (can you imagine if there were 18,000 Americans killed each year by al-Qaeda?? Or 18,000 shark attacks? ), the poor and healthcare-free in non-New Orleans America can console themselves that at least they're not dying because all their local hospitals are underwater. Yet.
First off, FEMA, in case you're not so well-versed in government bodies (rowr!), is the Federal Emergency Management Agency. FEMA is charged to protect us in case of hurricanes, volcanoes, tornadoes, witches (I think?), and, apparently, uppity poor people. FEMA partially constitutes the The Government, which, in case you're in need of further elucidation, is dictated by the Constitution. My favorite bit of the Constitution? The Preamble! It's right there at the beginning of the document, it's short, and you can dance to it. Sing it for the Durty South, y'all, like they used to do on Jimmy-Carter-era Saturday morning television:
We the People
in Order to form a more Perfect Union,
establish Justice,
insure domestic Tranquilityy-yy-yy,
proviiide for the Common Defence,
promote the general Welfare, and
secure the Blessings of Lib-er-tyyy
to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain!
and establish!
this Constitution!
for the:
United States o-o-of
A-
me-ri
caaaa.
As of blog time (nearly five a.m. on Wednesday morning, 9/7/05, with CNN on), Justice remains flamboyantly un-Established in South Louisiana. Domestic Tranquility in the Southern Parishes is Very Fucking Much Not. The Common Defence seems to have been ignored in the Ninth Ward, and as for the Promotion of Louisianians' General Welfare...it's so funny, I forgot to laugh.
But here, lemme try a giggle, with a KRUNK NOLA-STYLE FEMA BIT.
Oh, FEMA, you triflin' bitch. Where were you last week? Don't tell me you thought that the Weather-Related Mass Drowning, Starvation, and Chaos Administration had a handle on it. Because that's supposed to be you, lazy-ass. Don't you try to implicate Santa! Don't front, son! Santa don't make it rain. Hurricane evacuation ain't Batman's job, neither, it's YOURS. What's that you say, FEMA? What-whaaaat? Budget cuts?? WHO CUT YOU? Was it ReeRee? Did ReeRee and LaKwan cut you, baby??
...No? They drowned, you say? Damn. Well, who cut your funding then? WHO WAS IT?
Anyhow.
I realize my interpretation of the duties of our government strikes some as quixotic. Those in and out of the current Presidential Administration favoring a strict interpretation of the Constitution may argue that nowhere do the Framers propose massive hurricane-refugee airlifting. And they would have a point, as would those favoring the smallest taxes and smallest federal government in protesting that they don't control the weather.
Clearly, I just need to accept that some things went wrong, but some things went right (!), and trust that the president is gonna investigate. Yay! A sleuthin' POTUS!Who needs regulatory agencies or independent nonpartisan investigations when we have the fuckin' Hardy Boys!?
And while some among us may point out that the 18,000 yearly US deaths resulting from a lack of affordable healthcare seems also kinda...well, crisis-ish (can you imagine if there were 18,000 Americans killed each year by al-Qaeda?? Or 18,000 shark attacks? ), the poor and healthcare-free in non-New Orleans America can console themselves that at least they're not dying because all their local hospitals are underwater. Yet.
posted by sarahfisch at
5:39 AM
3 Comments:
but the government *can* control the weather. HAARP is real.
http://www.wealth4freedom.com/truth/6/HAARP.htm
http://www.haarp.alaska.edu/
--tia
Neva get down.. Intsall a bed and bathroom/kitchen there..(perhaps Jeff Mac could also consider this for housing).. speak out.. 'cos you seem to make sense to me (although in black and white that doesn't seem as comforting as it is when in my head!) - there's a lovley comment re Prez B. at
http:
//stuartbenjamin.blogspot.com/
If our Prime minister could order up a hurricane he would so's he could be just like the big Prez.
Great blog I hope we can work to build a better health care system as we are in a major crisis and health insurance is a major aspect to many.
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